Long post for a short point.

We, as a seminary community, went to a Phillies game last week. First, we had a tailgate sponsored by the Knights of Columbus council from seminary. It consisted of "hoagies", "tomato pie" and salted pretzels. There was also beer. It is funny how you can tell who is familiar with the aforementioned beverage by the way they hold the bottle. The amateurs seem to hold it as though they were trying to strangle a goose. The more seasoned among the populace hold the bottle as if they were about to drop it and that was fine with them. But I digress. The real reason for this post is to expostulate on something that has bothered me for three years. You will notice how in beginning of this arduous post, I put certain items in parenthesis. Namely, "hoagies" and "tomato pie".
As you may or may not know, I was home schooled my whole life, and more than one person has referred to me as "sheltered" due to my apprehension and mild abhorrence of expletives, and other questionable behavior of habitual practice. Mind you, I don't let stuff like expletives shake my person to its very core. Certain things come with the human territory that shouldn't cause one to shun the entirety of the race simply because it doesn't jive with one's preconceived notions of propriety. Quoting a seminarian friend of mine, I am "moral, but not soft." However, living in Philadelphia these past few years I cannot come to grips with the word "hoagie". "Tomato pie" is less alien to my "sheltered" ears, because I can at least identify each member of that phrase independent of its relation to a cold, soggy, piece of bread with tomato sauce  on it. Nothing but tomato sauce.
"Hoagie", however, is something I will never get used to saying. I even feel weird typing it. I think it might just be my family, you will need to ask around yourself. There are certain words we can't stand. For example, my sisters cannot stand the word "crackle". Do not ask me why, because I do not know. They just cannot stand the way it sounds. Nor do they like the word "crisp", or "cracker". I think it has something to do with a guttural pronunciation of the "c". Whatever the reason may be, they just don't like the words. They make their skin crawl.
"Hoagie" has a similar effect on me, but in an incredibly Puritan, New England way. Forgive my bluntness, but it sounds dumb. There is no other reason for my opinion other than the entirely subjective fact that I think the word in itself sounds unintelligent. That is me being very, very, hubristic.
Regardless of how I think the word sounds, the fact of the matter remains: a hoagie is a hoagie. Now, there are a plethora of other ways in which one may refer to the same item: Sub, sandwich, deli meat crammed into a roll. But I cannot change the truth which the name "hoagie" stands for. It's a little bit like how people don't like the truth the name "Jesus Christ", or "marriage", or "God" signifies, but no matter how much they don't like the word, they cannot change the truth of it. Now I'm hungry.