A weekend's worth of thinking.

I've seen a bunch of guys come through seminary who wind up leaving for one reason or another. Because everyone here is actively pursuing their vocation (every vocation is a life commitment, by the way) we are here making life choices. Am I supposed to be a priest? What do I want with my life? More importantly, what does God want with my life? (which is what I should want, I'm just too dense to see that). Therefore, early on in my seminary "career" when I was still green, naïve, and not cynical, I beetled around the building wringing my hands and thinking: "Oh dear, I hope I don't leave next!" as though I were some sort of beloved stuffed animal in a household with a very spirited pet who possessed a proclivity to violence towards once-beloved stuffed animals. However, as I move through the program (as I daily remind myself that I am, indeed, moving) the reality of the choices becomes clearer and clearer. It was easy early on to duck below the radar and hope you make it through without getting your tail singed by the persistent flame of discernment, but when the people who become your friends start making those choices, the self-centeredness of it all seems to disappear. There is something around here called "Christmas Clearance". This is the term referring to the members of our student body who, for one reason or another, leave the seminary over Christmas break, having completed the Fall semester. My first year, I stayed on the shelf, while several others departed. Year after that, same story. This academic year, same thing. It just happens. That is what can happen when someone takes discernment seriously. We at seminary can develop the perception of those who leave as "weak" or lacking some sort of endurance that we retained because we're special. It is far more difficult to leave than it is to enter seminary. Many of my friends have left seminary, all for very good reasons. They are good people and I love them very much. If you are in seminary, know someone in seminary, know someone who might go to seminary, or are thinking about becoming a priest yourself, please know: God will use you in the greatest capacity you can perform, endowed with your own set of skills, personality traits and quirks. He loves you no matter where you are, and complacency is not courage. Prayer and discernment are our greatest tools. If for whatever reason you feel God calling you out of seminary do not be complacent. Leave seminary. If you feel God calling you to be a priest or religious do not be complacent. Act upon it. You are not beholden to the expectations of anyone else but Our Lord.
Whew.... said it.